Photo by Piotr Wilk on Unsplash

I am in between
your ‘I love you’
and your ‘What is love anyways?’
I am in the middle of the crossfire
between your brain and your feelings,
or is it between your feelings and your body?
Why your eyes tell me something different
when you tell me you do not want me?

I am in the middle of the crossfire
between the things that you want
pulling you in different directions.
You want to be my friend
and later you kiss me,
then you apologize,
you fired ambivalence
point blank at me
expecting me to make sense of the chaos
that is all around your head.

I am in your war zone
of loving me but not wanting me close,
you riddle me with doubts
wanting me to keep standing
like the sick hero of a story.

But I am no hero, darling,
I bleed where the indecision touched me,
don’t you see I am already crawling,
until you decide if winning is me staying
there will be no piece of me left to stay.

A human being trying to heal and found her own voice. A self-love journey.